it's been raining a lot recently.. suits my mood... and many others too.. are we moody cause of the rain? or is the weather reading our hearts? little things are pissing me off now.. I've become really short tempered and irritable.. emo..

♥ you and i both loved

♥ you and i both loved

hi hi!! after a long period of absence, im back.. for the time being.. hahax.. this weekend's going to be a busy one.. again.. physics and pw.. lolx.. life has been hectic, boring, depressing, tiring, monotonous.. getting so bored.. everyday the same.. so sianz larhz.. still need to rush my tutorials.. aargh!! haish.. is this all there is to jc life? haish.. just got the letter from mindef.. very soon will have to go for ns.. will it be as monotonous as jc? guess it'll be tiring too... lolx.. whatevers.. that's life for you.. lolx..

on to my post.. as the title suggests.. leadership and faking it.. no they're not related.. let's start with leadership shall we?
im very tempted to say im disappointed.. in what i've seen so far.. you hear stories on how people from other schools are outspoken, willing to lead blah blah.. but i seem to see none of that.. whatever.. the "leaders" ive seen so far are pretty disappointing.. lolx..
leadership is a skill... and we learn it.. we're not born with it.. contrary to the popular belief.. i guess maybe what they mean is that they're born with the ability and willingness to learn how to lead.. not born to lead.. leadership is a skill acquired through learning, making mistakes and experience.. if you were forced into leadership, you shouldnt just take the position and sit back and say "im not born to lead.. i don't know how.. you guys voted for me"

what differentiates leaders from the rest is their willingness to take the initiative to learn.. take up the position and challenge it.. leaders that I've seen so far are unwilling to take up any initiative, neither do they have any willingness.. they have no sense of purpose or direction.. what makes me upset is the fact that they don't seem to do anything about it.. c'mon for goodness sake.. you guys are leaders.. show some initiative.. at least show some responsibility.. responsibility to the people who have elected you, people who you are supposed to lead.. it's very frustrating when you do not take any responsibility, show any willingness,, the wishy washy i couldnt care more attitude totally disgusts me... its not the ability to lead.. is the attitude taken.. such people are not destined to succeed.. the world does not revolve around you in case you havent notice.. it revolves around it's own axis and people have lives, people have thoughts, people have feelings.. step up to the job..

great leaders of the past have put the people before them.. what good is a leader if only he is doing well? take for example a chairperson of a class.. he may get top grades and all, but what good is he if he doesnt help the class? help to organise things, initiate activities, bond the class etc? studies may suffer and i understand. i've been through that.. but at the end of the day, do grades mean everything? life is a journey with many different routes.. you choose which you want to take.. you can either go on a single lane road, or take the highway, enjoy the scenery.. you can choose to eat good food alone or have a party with friends and probably end up with not enough to eat.. which is your choice?

of course, these comments are not aimed at anybody but are comments i've came up with after observing people around me.. of course, it's easy for me to just sit here and talk.. why don't i volunteer to be the leader? well.. after 3 years in the job, im happy taking the backseat for once.. leadership is no easy job.. i know.. the most important part would be gaining respect from your peers..

one of the easiest way i know is through servant leadership.. even the bible says so.. no, servant leadership is not a thing of the past.. it's about putting the people before self.. service before self.. you must show that you are working with them.. not commanding them to work.. you must let them feel that you understand what they feel and what they do.. just walking into the role and start screaming instructions or even worse, repeating instructions, would just gain you disrespect.. i remember hearing this before.. the greatest form of leadership, is when people do things for you because they want to.. that is when you've got their respect.. another word of advice.. treat others how you would want to be treated..cliche right? but true.. it's difficult to earn the respect of peers cause all are of the same age.. but it is feasible.. just try.. trying is already enough to earn mine respect at least.. but not even trying... is another matter.. there's this guy in class i kinda admire.. Hari.. he's not afraid to speak up, not afraid to fail and not afraid to get laughed at.. then people will laugh with him.. not at him.. that's the best kinda effort that can ever be put in..


faking it..
k.. this part is kinda emo..
faking it.. somehow or rather, i see many people who are just so fake.. their words, their expression. everyone has been putting on a mask.. not facing each other with what they really are.. putting on a smile, or the feeble attempt.. pretend to be interested in conversations.. you guys are just so fake man.. at least you guys dont attempt to pretend you care.. haish.. maybe im paranoid or whatever.. im just sensitive to this kinda stuff.. and i somehow know when what they say, what they do.. comes from their heart or not.. not through a mask..


on the the hand, I'm thankful for ris.. my meix.. she doesn't judge mi, she doest care about my 缺点..she even finds me sweet!! hahax.. that's a first.. but i really wanna thank you ris.. for treating me with sincerity and love.. thanx! you're always a joy to talk to.. when im down people offer sarcastic words, " words of great advice".. when all i needed was encouragement and comfort.. thanks for giving me that.. hahax.. i think i've said this like a million times.. lolx..thank god for you.. hopefully things for you will sort themselves out soon.. <3>

tag replies:

ris: hahax.. hopefully we can go for dinner one day.. lolx.. when neither you nor i are grounded.. hahax..

meow: =.="

chipz: yups.. you havent tagged in a long time.. hahax.. that yelow piece of paper lehz? where got term one? hahax.. die larhz.. i dis wkend confirm no time read de.. sh*t..

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
well..that's about it.. hope i can blog more.. not get too caught up with work.. well talk more about my life.. hahax.. and maybe discuss the singing of the national anthem..

♥ you and i both loved

weekend is screwed.. spent the whole day doing chinese project.. now starting on pw.. haish.. die.. sorry guys.. no updates.. about my life or some crazy uncle.. haha.. probaly saves you guys the trouble anyways.. haha.. stay tuned for more posts..

♥ you and i both loved

class outing was a bang.. wasnt exactly great, but still a bang.. only people missing were anuj, jeanny, daryl and hari.. i think.. haha.. the most successful ever outing.. haha..
venue: sock's place
time: 3pm till late at night
started with oral.. haha.. A'lvel Chinese oral.. didn't do as well as i would have wanted.. was nervous and kept stammering.. but whatever.. it's over.. no point dwelling on the past..
oral ended at lik 3? so me, alvin, xue wen and sock headed over to her place first.. haha.. big place it was.. haha.. rich people.. lolx.. whole family of golfers.. lolx.. they ad like god knows how many medals and stuff like that.. lolx.. how many competitions did they win?? haha.. stayed at her place and wasted time while waiting for people to come.. the first batch of people arrived.. cao feng, bing, sherlyn, shiyi, meow, yi pin, daniel.. i think.. haha.. don't really remember.. didn't do much.. kicked the ball around in the mph.. then played a bit of bridge? then, more people came.. mi, bing cao feng and alvin went to e court and kicked about.. lolx.. which is quite sad larhz.. cause like supposed to be class "bonding" but most of them were content with sitting in the mph and screaming.. whatever.. returned to alot of screaming.. joshua was there playing guitar while the girls were screaming away... what the larhz.. play cards also can scream until liddat.. lolx.. then went to collect pizza.. returned to more screaming.. and requests for drinks etc were made among the screams.. pizza came, screaming continued till they were tired of it.. the guys were like sitting in one corner.. guys talk.. haha.. which is equals to you look at me, i look at you and we show the =.= face to show our annoyance at the screaming.. haha.. talked a bit about guitar.. learnt some tips from joshua.. lolx.. and poor angel, was there cooking nuggets for the bunch of screaming gals.. haha.. slogging away while the rest were just well.. screaming? haha.. guess that's how class outings go.. some people work, some don't.. only way that class outings can work out right? haha.. oh ya.. sock's beef was nice.. but a bit bloody.. haha.. i was the only one who enjoyed sucking on the bone.. haha..

well, somehow during pizza session, people started kicking the ball around and a kick about soon happened with the whole class.. haha.. was like totally hilarious.. some people can and don't seem know how to kick a ball.. haha.. it went like flying all over the place.. haha.. fierce rivalry between swai ming and bing chang.. haha.. while xue wen was blasting the ball around.. what did they do to make her so angry? haha.. super funny.. meow cant kick a ball at all.. haha.. whenever it connects with her foot, it'll just cannon off in some random direction.. haha.. and sherlyn was like super enthu.. haha.. many jokes and funny incidents.. angel was like static most of the time.. so were stanley and daniel.. alvin was the "cool man" of the day.. haha.. cao feng was the stunt man and the subject if a new scandal with meow.. haha.. damn funny.. haha.. accidents, screams, ball flying everywhere.. haha.. now we know who can play soccer who cant.. haha.. and bing somehow managed to kick stan's pizza out of his hand.. haha.. pro..

soon became late and people started filtering out.. haha.. left a few of us.. lolx.. attempted to eat the rest of the pizza.. which was about 3 left.. and many many bottles of water.. haha... and of course, sock's mum's food that she had made.. lolx.. carried on playing the guitar.. haha.. then the girls went to the playground.. while the guys packed up.. lolx.. thank us.. haha.. the girls returned and we finished tidying up the place before bringing the rest of the stuff up to sock's place.. haha.. ended up watching Wimbledon.. lolx.. left sock's house quite late.. like at 1045.. and they ended up playing at the see-saw downstairs.. and the merry-go-round.. final game before we left.. haha.. well, that's about it.. should hae more class outings.. maybe somewhere that we don't have to pack up.. haha.. hoping for a chalet.. lolx.. thanks sock for all the trouble!! haha..


feeling strangely emo..like all the things i've worked so hard for.. work so hard to keep it going,, but it just seems to break down in the end.. family, friends, love, studies.. my life.. haish.. i guessed im pretty much screwed for terms.. didn't work as hard as i should have and maybe this is my punishment.. haish.. well, this is my life.. i've got to learn to deal with it..
c'mon life!! throw everything you've got at me, take your best shot!! i'll never break!!

yesterday met with a super rude cleaner.. he was pushing a trolley behind me.. made some weird noise.. twice.. when i turned around, he gave me the irritated look and motioned wildly for me to get out of the way.. doent he know a simple phrase called " excuse me"? lucky for him, im local.. not a tourist.. imagine man, if tourists were to meet with such behaviour.. totally spoils the image of singapore.. was he that uneducated that he doesn't even know how to string simpe lettrs together to form the word "excuse me"? no wonder he's a cleaner.. either he masks his intelligence very well or his attitude simply sucks... i mean singapore has an image..it's supposed to be clean and green city.. polite and educated people and a first class city.. with people like that, we're far from first class.. the government tries so hard to educate the people, but some people just cant seem to get educated.. obnoxious behaviour and a self-centered attitude.. this just gets us no where.. people fail to understand how important our image is to us.. we're not,like china where there is a 1.3 billion people market.. so people don't have to endure our attitude.. if they're not happy, they can leave.. we're not like other countries, where they have a huge population to sustain the economy.. we need to encourage foreign talent.. who would want to singapore if we don't project the right image? neither do we have plenty of natural resources that can sustain the economy with exports alone.. we need this image.. tourism, attracting foreign investment.. this are the thing that we are so ever reliant on.. so people, please wake up from your dream.. start showing some manners, be considerate and stop the obnoxious behaviour.. only then can we be called a first class nation.. start showing some care and concern to the people around you..

which brings me to this.. im sure that all of you know about live Earth.. do support the cause.. help conserve the enviroment.. go to http://www.liveearth.msn.com you can pladge to d something to help save the Earth there..
or go to http://www.avaaz.org/en/climate_pledge/tf.php to sign a pledge to help end climate crisis.. liveearth 070707.. join the cause, save the Earth..

tag replies:

ris: believe in what? haha...

♥ you and i both loved

We were strangers starting out on our journey
Never dreaming what we'd have to go through
Now here we are and
I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you
No one told me
I was going to find you
Unexpected what you did to my heart
When I lost hope you were there to remind me

chorus:
And Life is a road and
I want to keep going
Love is a river
I want to keep flowing
Life is a road now and forever
A Wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

We were strangers on a crazy adventure
Never dreaming how our dreams would come true
Now here we stand unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you

(chorus)

I knew there was somebody somewhere
Like me alone in the dark
I know that my dream will live on
I've been waiting so long
Nothing's gonna tear us apart

(chorus)

In the end I wanna be standing at the beginning with you

post on class outing will be coming soon, stay tuned..

♥ you and i both loved

garcia's tribute.. http://www.liverpoolfc.tv/news/drilldown/N156271070703-1550.htm
thank you garcia, for the wonderful things you've done in anfield.. wish you the best of luck in spain!! haha.. and welcome torres!!

tag replies:
ris: i know it's a nice skin.. haha.. and there's nothing much 2 wry abt mi.. haha... bored.. haha..er.. go watch the movie lorhz.. haha..

samsum: =.="

♥ you and i both loved

♥ you and i both loved

ok.. let's get things started with a quick hurray, cause terms are over.. woots! haha.. ok.. now to the other stuff.. firstly, would be transformers.. ok.. here's a quick breakdown, decepticons are here on earth, trying to find the allspark which they plan to use to turn all of earth's technology into evil looking, gun carrying robots.. the autobots are here to protect us and find the allspark before megatron, who is frozen as a big block of ice, does.. and so the fighting goes on as sam witwicky holds the all important glasses that contains the co-ordinates for the allspark.. where it's hidden, I'm not going to tell you.. you should go watch the movie..

started off quite badly cause everybody ps..so onli me n xuan.. but all that didn't matter when the movie started..and yes, e clip of e simpsons was funny.."spiderpig, spiderpig"the movie had awesome graphics, great visuals... the storyline wasn't that bad either.. many memorable scenes.. oh ya, first disclaimer notice, i don't remember exactly what was said, so this are the rough ideas..)

first was when bumblebee became the chevo.. this was how it went..
car travelling down highway..
girl: "i don't get it, if this thing can transform into this all powerful robot, why is it stuck in this piece of crap?" (which was the worn down 2nd hand car)
car stops and throws the both of them out and drives off.
guy: "now look what you've done.. he's sensitive man! now my 4000 bucks is driving away"
scene changes to bumblebee.. he's travelling on two wheels and goes past a chevo.. a quick scan and of a sudden, "vroom" the hot looking chevo is next to sam.. at this point, the whole cinema goes "woah!!"

next was a pretty cool stunt.. bumblebee has the allspark and is racing off to find optimus in a 2 lane road.. speeding down the road, optimus and gang zoom past in the opposite direction all in a straight line.. immediately, all of them do a 180 and line up perfectly behind bumblebee in the exact same order.. cool!

i think the last one was when starscream or blackout.. cant remember who.. took down the f22's.. way cool, transform, destroy, transform back, shoot, transform destroy.. you get the picture..

bay also injected some humor into the show.. quite a few examples

1.when sam saw bumblebee after he fought off the evil police car.. i forgot his name... barricade or something.. sam goes, he's most probably Japanese.. you know, they have those high tech stuff.. definitely Japanese.. =.="'

2.when bumblebee's driving, gal sitting in middle, sam on e right seat..
sam: "why don't you move over to the other seat?"
gal: "no way, he's (bumblebee)driving"
sam:"why don't you sit on my lap, it's the only seat belt, you know, safety first"
smooth move dude.. lolx..

3.sam gets introduced to all the autobots for the first time.
ratchet: "the pheromone levels of this male suggests that he wants to mate with the female"

4.car dealer introduces sam to his grandma..
dealer: "that's my grandma over there.. hey grandma" *waves*
grandma: *points middle finger*

5.throughout the movie, the decepticons identifies him as ladiesman217..
and when sam asks optimus "how do you know about the glasses?"
optimus : "ebay"

6.sam: "how did you guys learn our language?"
optimus:"we studied the world wide web"

7. when the autobots try to hide from sam's parents.

ok.. i think that's enough.. so i shall end my transformers talk here.. give the movie 3.5 stars out of 5.. lolx.. fans must watch.. non-fans, it's recommended.. haha..

next, bus captains.. or so they all called.. I've read with some amusement that a girl was asked to pay a full fare when she was in school uniform and surrounded by friends.. interesting right? yes i know that it is the rules and that she must do it.. but but but.. has sbs or whoever thought about this? what if the student forgets to bring the ez link card? does this mean that the student is not a student? is the ez link card the only way to identify the person as a student? cant there be some other smarter ways?
personally, i think that a school uniform is suffice.. i mean who in the right frame of mind would wear a school uniform to cheat on bus fares? who would spend so much on school uniforms to cheat on a few cents? (to all those out there who don't know, school uniform don't come cheap)
i have meant with unreasonable "captains" who have gone as far as to say "uncle can also go buy a uniform and say that im a student" =.="
"well, im sorry.. i spent over 30 bucks buying a school uniform so that i can cheat a few cents" i mean, it's just ridiculous..
when they confiscate the ez link cards of students, then what happens? you want to claim it back? please go to the service station at god knows where to collect it back.. u can either choose to drive illegally there and risk being caught for driving without a license or take a bus there.. don't worry, students enjoy special rates on public transport.. oops, i forgot, i confiscated your card, you're not a student anymore, so please pay the full fare.. thank you and have a nice journey..
i mean seriously, the government is encouraging public transport, but who would want to take a bus if all e "captains" are like that?
more than once i have met unreasonable drivers..
you know in double decks? well, i was at e top deck, and suddenly the bus brakes.. my bag falls to the floor with a loud "thud".. the "captain" shouts from below asking us not to play a fool on the bus.. retarded..
another time, a guy's ez link had no money left.. so he paid using cash.. however, he forgot this, and when he wanted to alight, tapped his card.. so the error sounded, and his friends reminded him that he paid using cash.. the "captain" refused to open the door and accused the guy of looking for trouble.. even when the boy apologised, the "captain" continued complaining..

according to dictionary.com, a captain is "One who commands, leads, or guides others". hence, one would expect a certain level of civilised behaviour and intellect from the so-called captains.. perhaps, they would like to exercise their intelligence to learn some manners and of course, use that intelligence to help solve such problems.. just because sbs and smrt monopolize the public bus industry, doesnt mean that such behaviour should be allowed.. hello, in case they havent noticed, we're paying for a service, and we shouldn't be subjected to lousy service if we pay for it.. put up with it or walk, those are the only options.. and many have no choice but to put up with it.. i am sure that hundreds, if not thousands have had at least one bad experience.. so i strongly believe that something should be done...
and perhaps, with the billions they earn each year, they can put some of that money into helping solve the student ez link card issue and maybe send the captains of manners training.. then perhaps will Singapore's public transport system move towards world class.. of course, im not saying that all bus captains all like that.. there are many great ones out there who do their best to serve.. they deserve a round of applause, but the reputation of bus captains will be pulled down by errant uncles.. if all except one are good, it makes not difference, cause everybody is going to remember that one.. with society advancing, i hope that someday, captains deserve to be called captains.. if not people would continue calling them uncles cause some of them do behave like one.. and hopefully, by the time my children get to school, sbs and smrt have come up with more intelligent ways to recognise a student..

tag replies:
kk: meaningful?? lolx.. but typing in full makes my posts super long..

ris: haha.. whether will be answered or not, or whether will be heard or not, only god knows =P pun unintended.. and as long as you're my meix, i'll worry cause i care!! haha.. take cares!! lolx.. and nice new blog.. lolx..

me!:your welcome.. haha.. i'll be fine too.. i may not forgive her, but my life continues.. haha.. maybe time will let it happen, i don't know.. haha..

♥ you and i both loved

wow.. second post.. ok, the previous doesn't really count.. haha.. second post in perfect english.. ok, it ain't perfect.. but understandable without all the shorthands i used to use.. lolx..

this post here is to pray.. haha.. even though im not christian.. and hopefully my prayers will be answered.. haha..
ok, here goes nothing..
dear lord, im here, praying even though im not christian, but i know that my prayers will be answered.. i pray for strength.. strength to carry on.. im lost.. i don't know what direction to take anymore.. i don't know which way i should go.. please, show me the way.. guide me through this darkness cause i don't know what to do anymore..
i also pray, pray for the strenght to forgive her.. i don;t know why, but i just cannot forgive her for the way that she treated me.. i know i have to put it down, i know i need to carry on.. but i cant..i don't know why.. i know if i don't forgive her, i can't forget her.. so lord, please give me the strength to forgive and forget her..
next, i would like to pray for the people around me.. i want to pray for my meix.. especially charis and jasmine.. i pray that charis can find her happiness.. find someone who won't break her heart, find someone that can make her happy and smile.. i feel so helpless whenever i see my meix all upset and i just can't seem to do anything about it... so the only thing i can think of is t pray for them, comfort them.. of course, im not forgetting jasmine.. i pray that she gets the strength to carry on, to forget what she needs to forget, and the strength to face her nightmares and conquer them..
i pray for sam, pray that she forgets about someone, prat that she gets her life back, and not be troubled by such things anymore.. to be able to be carefree!! haha.. god bless them.. and of course, lastly, i'll like to pray for xj and jx.. haha.. pray that xj doesn't get too troubled by the recent happenings in her life and that she can find her guardian angel soon.. pray for jx.. that he can find his happiness too!! haha... and i pray that all of us remain tight forever.. all this in jesus name i pray, amen..

ok.. that was weird.. but i guess, that's how i wish stuff to turn out.. lolx.. and i don't know if i did it correctly.. but, whatever.. juz wish for happiness for them.. haha.. now to the more boring stuff.. bits of my life.. haha.. later going watch trasformers at jp.. looking forward.. have read mixed reviews of it.. but it should be anice movie.. since im a fan (sort of).. at least i know what's going on.. i've watched the cartoons.. and my cousin who's a hardcore fan.. i kinda rubbed abit off him having stayed at his place when i was young.. well, i tink he's supposed to be my godbrother.. since his mom's my godmom.. well.. looking forward to transfomers!! haha..

♥ you and i both loved

going watch transformers later..heeh..

tagg replies:

kat: typo larhz..lolx.. and i lazy change..

ris: haha.. thanks.. and somehow that sounds sarcastic..

me!: oh.. ok.. sorry.. june.. my bad.. and not my fault wad.. and can u reply more to sms's next time..especially those that need replies de..

♥ you and i both loved

i'm mr huang. according to someone.
and apparently i have 1001 friends.
and they love "taste from the orient"
but normal people call me ruijie. or rj.
was born on 7th may.
18 years wasted.
was part of mayflower primary.
transferred to pps.
pps-cheetah 3m,4l,5k,6l,
rvhs-centaur 1/2h,3/4d,
acj-erif-salamander 1sb3/ as before
was a member of rvnc and ac guitar
horoscope is taurus
blood type is O i guess
msn me at thedevilawakens@gmail.com


cyx
gmle
nlgay
raymond
yini

4 Do.iT
cat
czp
martin
reptile
tlq
xuan

joa
samsum
sherilyn.S
xueqi
xw

salamander
darsh
el
ris'
the yawn

jeanny
kky
kok

AsBefore
angel
jiayi
joshua
kat
melissa
pong
stanley
swai ming

acguitar
cynthia
yan
lidya

jianhong




January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009







Alone again naturally - Alone again naturally


this layout was done by jeanette. the fonts were from dafont,image was from threadless and brushes were from 100x100.pls do not take out the credits. :]