Wednesday, August 01, 2007 @21:12:00
posts on some stuff.. i should be doing chem or studying.. but i feel weird.. a bit sick.. so decided to blog.. lolx..
yesterday jiayi got screwed by kwok.. badly.. could see that she was upset.. was a bad day for her i guess.. at the end of the day.. she was just so.. i dunno.. emo? she walked down the stairs without saying anything much.. so i kinda just walked with her.. amazingly, nobody really noticed.. after quickly filling in the survey, many of them just disappeared into their own world and walked away.. i don't get it.. people in my class always seem to be in a rush to go home after school.. i kinda understand what she's going through.. not fully.. but somewhat.. is our life really that pathetic? that we live in our own world.. we seem to be so busy, so caught up with life that we don't notice what's going on around us.. when i tell people i take 20 minutes to walk from the mrt station to school, they call me crazy, walk so slow.. but why must we walk so fast?
are our lives zooming by so fast that we fail to notice our surroundings and slow down to appreciate the things that are happening around.. maybe a friend who needs help? or even to the smallest things like a bird in flight.. when you slow down and look at this things, you get a whole new perspective.. you feel refreshed.. makes you wonder, what have you been missing out all this time? if we do take time off, we discover that many things around us are beautiful.. read on phuong's blog.. she asked "what's being nice"? i guess there's no definition to nice.. but you can start by being there for friends.. when they're upset or whatever.
no need for any words. just be by them.. walk with them.. its good enough..today guitar practice.. in g3.. hahax.. only me, xuan, yip choon, nat, charis and cynthia.. realised that i suck.. kinda disappointed.. disappointed that i can actually suck so much.. din know that i was that lousy.. haish.. its like totally disappointing when you tried so hard.. you practice hard, but still turn out lousy.. you spend time studying, yet your results suck.. people who keep ponning, or don't practice play better than you.. people who don't pay attention to lectures and don't do their homework can do better than you.. guess i havent been working hard enough.. i should work harder..
i am who i am.. that's the way i am.. the life that i have now is cause of the decisions i made in the past and there's no turning back now.. i gotta learn to live with it.. i gotta work harder..she hasnt been talking much to me recently.. been talking to others.. had this weird feeling.. jealous that she doesnt pay attention? no i cannot.. i cannot afford to.. she's a beautiful girl.. doesnt deserve this.. not me.. she doesnt deserve getting her friendship with me ruined too.. i shouldnt.. its weird.. somehow.. as the days go along, i get the feeling that the relationship we share now is the best it can get.. so i shouldnt.. shouldnt fall for her.. haish.. hope this is just a phase.. don;t let it ruin a perfectly wonderful friendship.. hahax.. i wanna concentrate on my studies.. i wanna do well for school and cca.. i don't think i'll meet anybody in jc.. so i should stop it.. stop with all this.. concentrate..
i don't need no one.. i will prove that to the world.. god bless her..
-disappointed.dinnoethaticouldsucksobadly..------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
tag replies:
cat: im sure everyone feels the same.. hahax..
ris: don't worry abt me.. i'll be fine.. lolx..
chipz: hopefully.. lolx.. well the weather has been pretty weird lately.. and how did meow and mohit come about?
meow: u're forgiven..
kh: huh?