♥ you and i both loved

dumb dumb dumb! just go hang yourself or something..

♥ you and i both loved

19.9.2007.

something big happened.

something major.

something that rocked the whole footballing world.

apparantly, Jose Mourinho parted with Chelsea on a "mutual agreement". what's going on? left me shocked. the footballing world is going haywire.
Antonio Puerta, a Sevilla defender died of a heart attack at the young age of 23.
Arsenal who have been written off for the premiership race after the sale of Henry are now top of the table. and in 2 nights where United barely beat Sporting and Chelsea and Liverpool could only force a draw, Aresenal romped to a 3-0 victory ovr Sevilla where many expected it to be a tight one.
now, this? what's going on? even though im a Reds fan, the sudden departure of Mourinho has yet to sink in. i have no idea what to think. granted he may have been irritating at times, but he added a new dimension to the league. and after insisting that he's here to stay, he suddenly packs and leaves, shocking the whole footballing world.

anyway, enough about football. i mugged again today in school. till 8+ again. with kat. lolx. i love going home at night. when everything's so quiet, peaceful and life slows down a notch. just makes me happy. makes me feel slightly better. maybe i shall go home after sundown from now on. lolx.it's nice. hahax. although i'm alone, i don't mind. cause it's just so relaxing. keeps me sane. lolx. no choice. nothing else now. no time for guitar. hahax.

today i realised something. i cant smile anymore. in the past i could smile. no matter what. ok, maybe not when i got dumped. but other things yes. i could still force a smile. but now i can't. what's wrong? today during chinese lesson. i just sat there and thought. yes, for 1hour20mins. i just sat there and thought. i couldn't concentrate on the worksheet. i just thought. thought about why. thought about life. things i've done. things i've done wrong. things i would like to have done differently. i just thought. life.

Pandora's box realised hope. but is it enough in this world? sorrow, misery, sadness. is hope enough to sustain you? sustain you till you find happiness to fight all these? i don't know. im not sure what im feeling anymore. trying to drown myself in work and get good grades for now and worry about the rest later.

haish. what's wrong with me. i don't stick to my own quote. put things in perspective. im trying very hard. trying. drowning.

♥ you and i both loved

today im proud of myself. i stayed back and mugged alot! till 8+.. hahax. i was productive. hahax. may be doing the same tomorrow. lolx. now waiting for mel to send me wr so i can burn. lolx. so im here.

recently, i was told a rather big piece of news. and im not very sure how i feel about it. happy? sad? relieved? glad? i don't know. i guess im numb. i don't feel anything to tell you the truth. maybe cause it left me breathless? with no time to really think about anything else? well, one thing's for sure. this numbness is going to be useful as i prepare for my promos and not get distracted by it. lolx. i need to do well. i desperately need to do well at least once in the entire year. i don't want such things to happen at the wrong time. i don't want to screw up my last shot this year. i will succeed. wrong things always happen in the wrong time, but im used to it. so i try my best. hahax. to cope and not let it affect me. here's one verse i want to quote from 'lost'. it goes something like "hope is a dangerous thing to lose" so i shall not lose hope. for it is hope and belief that brings me through. the hope for a better day and the belief that tomorrow will be a better day.

also keep in mind Sherwayn's quote. "Put your actions and conflicts you might have, in perspective. Would all this still matter in a day or a month? It will help you decide which fights are worth the blood and tear, and when you would be better laying off. Do not believe all the advice you receive, but neither allow yourself to ever be ignorant."

put things in perspective. how true. shouldn't be bothered with such things now.

♥ you and i both loved

♥ you and i both loved

♥ you and i both loved

I'm back to blogging after missing in action for the past week cause i was mugging. or trying to. first week of the new term. one word. tiring. teacher's are rushing to finish syllabus, revision packages pile upon us as our tutorials continue to increase. revision packages + tutorial preparation = not much time left for mugging. haish. and math. I'm still struggling. arhx! promos draw closer. my chem is OK i think. physics abit shaky. hoping that I'll be fine. it's math that's my headache. lolx. especially summation, MI, differentiation and integration. die die die. lolx. and PnC can get confusing at times.

the week started off with lectures. zzz. nobody prepared the math revision package. it was so damn thick larhz. the rest of the lectures were ok i guess. and i think im keeping up with tutorials. we had GP mock exam on Wednesday. quite tiring. compo and compre. the compo was like omgwtf with many cheem topics. "education prepares us for a world we no longer live in" what the?? i don't think we have enough time to really dwell into the subject itself. ended up settling with "discuss the idea that environmental efforts would be futile as long as a materialistic society exists." think i can do decently for compo, but compre was a whole different story. just hope i pass so that i can get a decent grade like D or C. was quite productive when i got home. managed to finish electrolysis tutorial. hahax. whee! Thursday stayed back after school with jiayi to mug. and i was super productive. omg. i was like so surprised at myself. did AQ, organic chem tutorial and even had time to peek at physics. lolx. the dinner provided smelt good man. hahax. but we didn't eat. wasn't hungry and the queue was super long. hahax. ended off by listening to jiayi and Tessa crap. hahax.

did i mention, our class photo is super ugly! they photo shopped it. so the first row looked extra fat and the last row slimmed down. weird. and we just found out that we could have bought the informal one instead. lolx.

Wednesday was another significant day as Indonesia was struck by earthquakes repeatedly. my condolences to those who have lost loved ones because of this disaster or have suffered property losses. but be strong and carry on. it's this kind of things that happen out of the blue and make you think deeply.

my thought of the day: why we give.

there have been many stories of old and hungry men who are alone and have nobody to depend on. all they have are their pets. meals come few and between but they always share whatever morsels they have with their pet. why?
to give is something everyone can do, but it is to give and not expect return that is an art. we often face situations like these, where we try so hard, and give so much, but yet it is all one-sided. it happens in many relationships, be it with families, friends or that special someone. you give but the person doesn't respond. you send sms's but there' no reply. you try and talk, but you're given a cold shoulder. you feel disheartened, you want to give up. but why? giving for the sake of giving or giving and expecting returns is of no purpose. those true are those that give silently, not expecting anything, even afraid to let others know that he is giving. giving because you care. silently. watching over. that's what matters. it doesn't matter if the other party notices. it's enough. to just give. and perhaps someday. perhaps. you might get returns. so to those who are giving and feeling disheartened, like it's always one sided. ask yourself. why do you give. when you rediscover that reason, you would be able to carry on.

joke of the day! decided to incorporate this. to maybe share some of the lame jokes i hear.

advertisements worth a second look.

• lost: small apricot poodle. neutered. like one of the family.
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• for sale: four-poster bed, 101 years old. perfect for antique lover.
• wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.
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• wanted: hair cutter. excellent growth potential.
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• our bikinis are exciting. they are simply the tops.
• car repair service. free pick-up and delivery. try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
• illiterate? write today for free help.

hope my blog doesn't seem so gloomy and emo after adding this. as so many people have complained. hahax. I've even used colours to decorate it.

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yini: i quote 2nd time le..

jiayi: er.. ok. that explains it. lolx. so the last performance was for ac people only. lolx.

♥ you and i both loved

AC open house. 8 September 2007. kinda failed. wasn't many people. out of all the visitors, i suppose like half of them were AC people. lolx. during my one hour at the booth, only 2 people dropped by. haish. and the performance in the viewing gallery? well, their last performance was for AC people. hahax. everyone there was from AC, discounting 2 nygh girls who i have no idea what they were here for. hahax. total sianz-ness. lolx. zzz..
i let myself walk to close..
after open house went je with cynthia, jx and charis. hahax. talked abit. charis seemed tired. lolx. see larhz, every time so late den slp. zzz.. girls need their beauty sleep. hahax. in the end went home and slack. was supposed to get work done. but.. oh well. lolx. what's new?
even though i knew the dangers.
well, today's the last day of the holidays. i ought to finish up my econs IL. lolx. almost there. and then there's chem and math. lolx. shall try. try to do. hahax.
got burnt again. why am i so dumb?
welcome to my life. simple plan. only the second song that i've heard by them. first was crazy. meaningful lyrics? hahax. it seems like everybody can relate to this song, one way or the other. are our lives really that bad? or do we not know to be contented.
"Put your actions and conflicts you might have, in perspective. Would all this still matter in a day or a month?"
we need to understand. yes we may find that everything is against us when nothing is going right for us. but it's not that bad. we keep saying that nobody cares, nobody understands. but there is much more suffering out there. people starving in the streets. what's our little problem compared to theirs? human relationships? it's too complicated for my liking. if you don't like me then too bad. i couldn't care less. it's just too complicated. and i've gotta learn to put things in perspective. not be foolish and make the same mistake over and over again..
===================================================================

yini: huh? which post you referring to. the previous post was for my meix. lolx. and i not so pro. hahax. wan jio den will get. hahax. unless im super handsome or super rich. hahax. won't mind if im both. hahax.

♥ you and i both loved

stop being so wistful. wishful. wasteful. whatever. it's super depressing you know. you are one of those that care about me. but yet when you're like that i cannot do anything. feel so lousy you know. useless. you asked me so many times not to worry, but how not to? u're my meix. lolx. you're one of those rare few that care and i really hate it when people like you get upset and i can do nothing. haish. yes i don't know who he is, yes i don't know what it's like for you so yes im in no position to say such stuff. i can only hope. and pray. that you don't get too tied down by it. don't get too bothered by it. don't get too affected by it. i can only hope.

well, this holiday has been wasted. i made a timetable. a strict one that i was supposed to follow. but as usual, i didn't. help. i keep slacking off at the wrong time, keep doing things im not supposed to do even though i know the consequences. chances of being retained. i can't pass my math even if my life depended on it. this leaves me with physics and chem. both just keep fluctuating. i don't know what i can do anymore. i seriously need help. zzz.. i need to buck up. i keep saying that but to no avail. haish. help!!! i know i can do it if i study. but i just cannot. why? am i that weak mentally that i cant put my mind to it? that's the saddest thing ever man. or maybe. i dunno. im just living day by day with no purpose, no motivation. since coming to jc, my life has been so monotonous. everyday the same and it's so tiring. same cycle over and over again. zzz.. leaving me with nothing to look forward to and just live day by day. and look. half my jc life is over. provided i don't get retained. haish. sianz.

♥ you and i both loved

i read with much amusement on yesterday's papers that US workers were seen as the most efficient workers as compared to the EU and certain Asian countries. here were the criteria that they were graded on. 1. the number of hours worked. 2. the amount they were paid.
well, it appears as though the US workers were earning more per hour than their counterparts and are hence labeled as efficient. hmm. really? for one this doesn't really show how efficient they are. it just shows that their either grossly overpaid or highly under worked. how can you actually compare the amount they earn per hour and link it directly to their efficiency? especially to Asian countries like China? it is obvious that the amount they earn is going to be much less than their US counterparts. in the US, a dollar can probably get you nowhere. but in China, it can go a long way. there's no way you can do a direct comparison. lolx. just the thought of it makes me laugh. the study shows nothing except the US workers are highly paid and work less hours. reasons i wouldn't say why as i do not have any evidence to make any claims. but the point here I'm trying to make is that we live in the 21st century. people should be cleverer than that.

okay. enough of that. well, it's been almost a week into my holidays. almost ending. and i havent done much. help! hahax. im so going to die. lolx. how how how? i havent done econs IL either. haish.i need to work hard. real hard. but no motivation sia. hahax. zzz..

a few days back i was tempted to sms her. was thinking something along the line of "hey, how you doing? sorry for ignoring you for the past 7 months or so." but, i thought against it. i wasn't ready. not ready to face her after what happened. lolx. memories are nice. sweet, but they touch a nerve. a painful one. up till today i remain clueless on why it happened. but im not really interested in finding out anyway. my life's perfectly fine now. i don't need anything to ruin it for me. so im happy to stay the way i am. lolx.
zz.. don't feel like updating anymore. also don't know what to update. so shall end here. lolx. busy uploading photos to photobucket. so cya!
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jiayi: hello long lost visitor. long time no see. hahax. really? hahax. they're all random posts sia. hahax. all my thoughts are random. just depends on how i feel when im blogging bahx. hahax.

♥ you and i both loved

saw this on yini's blog, so decided to rip it and talk about this interesting quote..

"Put your actions and conflicts you might have, in perspective. Would all this still matter in a day or a month? It will help you decide which fights are worth the blood and tear, and when you would be better laying off. Do not believe all the advice you receive, but neither allow yourself to ever be ignorant." - Tan Sherwayn. president's scholar 2004.

everything we do these days seem to be out of perspective. indeed, will these things really matter in time to come? you are guilty of it, i am guilty of it. we all are guilty of it. we indulge in things too small to really matter. we need to decide, what we need to fight for and what we should let go. fussing over small matters will get us nowhere as we go in a roundabout. people out there are suffering much more than we do and yet we moan and complain about the small things we are going through. yes. I'm one of them. complaining about my life. the way it is. how lousy it is.

but I'm learning to put things in perspective. little things like these don't matter. people all over the world are facing worse problems. poverty, hunger etc etc. i really wanna go on an ocip. to help these people. not just do something like "starve" for 30 hours. it loses the whole meaning of a cip. we're not there just for the hours. at least I'm not. i want to really help. to make a difference.

"It will help you decide which fights are worth the blood and tear, and when you would be better laying off"

was talking to Charis last night about fighting for what you want. she told me, if i want it, i should go for it. but if i fight for what i want, what about what others want? imagine this simple scenario. A likes B. but B likes C. if A insists on B, what would poor B end up with? would B be happy? would B have what it wants? or should B fight for what it wants too?

I've decided. that certain things aren't worth it. some things are more important than others. your happiness is more important. I'm not going to bind you down, I'm not going to insist on anything. I'm just happy with that you are the way you are. that things between us are the way it is and that you still allow me to watch over you as a friend. fight for what you want. but put things in perspective. allow yourself to think. what really matters and which fight is worth fighting for. don't bother about things that eventually won't matter. it's just not worth it. you may just lose something that would.

-hold my hand and guide me through, hold my hand and sweep me off my feet.
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yini: I'm learning to put things in perspective. hahax.

♥ you and i both loved

Friday. went back to rv at like 9 to catch the concert with xuan. abit sianz. lolx. so ended up plying ultimate. and bball. lolx. learnt that mr faizad's going go rjc next year. lolx. our good friends from bishan. hahax. waited like forever for the nj people. they came about like 12. lolx. wow. 3 hours. hahax. we waited that long. lolx.

went to vivo. sat at sky garden eat lunch. hahax. talk abit. play abit of cards. den go walk walk. walk sianz liao decided go bowl at safra. ended up only 4 ppl bowl. the rest pay cards. lolx. damn off form. hahax. 50+ nia. hahax. knocked my thumb. hahax. zzz. den went tb plaza eat. hahax. ended up going home at like 830. lolx.

miss my class. hahax. miss 4d. lolx. at least they were more enthu. more united. more funny. more committed. hahax. zzz. sianz. lolx. i like keep complaining. lolx. was kinda nice ytd. hahax. to catch up with old friends and old times. hahax. kinda miss those times. hahax. miss rv. but here i am. must move on. so i guess i will. hahax. i may not like it now. but i still gotta live it. lolx. doesnt matter if i don't like you or you or you. cause if that's the way im seen in your eyes, you don't matter to me. not anymore. lolx. zzz.

♥ you and i both loved

i'm mr huang. according to someone.
and apparently i have 1001 friends.
and they love "taste from the orient"
but normal people call me ruijie. or rj.
was born on 7th may.
18 years wasted.
was part of mayflower primary.
transferred to pps.
pps-cheetah 3m,4l,5k,6l,
rvhs-centaur 1/2h,3/4d,
acj-erif-salamander 1sb3/ as before
was a member of rvnc and ac guitar
horoscope is taurus
blood type is O i guess
msn me at thedevilawakens@gmail.com


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