its-cold-in-here

shift

2009-08-30T15:14:00.001+08:00

i have decided to shift. cause blogger is seemingly screwed.
http://www.mynotsoawesomelife.wordpress.com/

change.

2009-08-30T14:26:00.000+08:00

people change. that's the only thing constant thing in life. it's hard to get used to. cause people just walk in and out of your life. but we need to learn. to block it all out. so that we can focus. focus. or rather. i need to focus. love all. trust few.

2009-08-25T15:42:00.000+08:00

focus

off

2009-08-21T20:40:00.001+08:00

off to guard duty! yet another weekend burnt. hai.

sian.

2009-08-08T23:25:00.000+08:00

In the night, I hear 'em talk,
the coldest story ever told
Somewhere far along this road, he lost his soul to a woman so heartless..
How could you be so heartless?
Oh.. How could you be so heartless?

===================================================

long weekend burnt. no wonder so hazy nowadays. sian. will be like super long before i can enjoy my next weekend. and i wasted this. dang. prepare for turn out tmr nite.

question.

2009-08-05T14:17:00.003+08:00

sometimes you can't help but question. why is this happening to me. things haven't been going smoothly, you ask why. somethings you can never find the answer cause the world is too complicated. sometimes i ask myself. have i been too stupid, always making wrong decisions and wrong calls. making the wrong move, committing to the wrong thing, trusting the wrong people. sometimes i really think so. that im so stupid. but perhaps im being guided. i don't know. if i am, i have yet to see who's leading me on and who's planning all those. army life cocking up alot. supposed to book in tmr night. but now i have to book in tonight. sucks. i have no idea why either. sometimes, you wonder how exactly do big organisations run. and how do they get so much respect when deep under it's a mess. haish. i guess i cannot complain. life is always like that. often i find myself trusting the wrong people too. ending up with disappointment. part and parcel of life too eh? oh well. army is supposed to make me independent. so i guess. it's time to build up the wall. one brick and a time. all over again. to shut myself out from the world. learn how to focus.

thoughts.

2009-08-01T23:51:00.002+08:00

grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
======================================

many things in life cannot change. i can only hope for the best now. cause i really really don't know where to go and the next step to take.

‘And I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year: Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown. And he replied: Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God. That shall be to you better than light, and safer than a known way.’ — Minnie L. Haskins

i guess the only thing i can do now is to pray. but. im not a very religious person i guess.
======================================

tough times don't last. tough men do. i keep trying to remind myself. bpc is ending. but one more tough week remains. getting ready for the lack of sleep and the turnout sessions. oh well. another week gone. hope to survive another. i don't know how. but i hope i will. army. so much to rant about. but i can't. help!

sian.

2009-07-25T16:25:00.000+08:00

boat package over. many people injured. kinda strained my back as well. went to the MO. got 6days heavy load and RMJ. even better. physiotherapy. i don't know how or why i got it. lol. he asked my to bend over to check my back. then the next thing i knew, he said he's putting me on physio. i didn't imagine it to be so serious. it doesn't really really hurt right now. so i also don't know. physio at 3 sir. uber far. at least can book out. yet to contact them to make appointment. don't know how it will turn out. lol. sian. have to book in today for demo tmr. aiyo. burn my weekend. sian la! hais.

i splurged today. spend $300 on a psp. wow. how spontaneous can i get.

usual rant.

2009-07-19T16:26:00.001+08:00

here comes my usual rant. booking in blues. monday and tuesday. boat package. have to carry the stupid boat and obm. lack of sleep. so heavy. getting myself wet. sian. every week i don't feel like booking in. book out timing seems so short. i don't see 2 days passing so fast in army. oh well. suck thumb. hai. i'm waiting for your reply! it's been 4 long years. and you're still ignoring me. over what i have no idea.

rants

2009-07-12T18:12:00.001+08:00

another post to rant. rant rant and rant. that's the only thing im good at i suppose. it's just that army makes you think about your life more than anything. probably cause it's a mental strain. i'm not to sure either. i was reading my old blog posts and tags. and i realised how some people grew so distant in a matter of months. people whom you could talk to about anything. people who would initiate conversations with you. now don't even talk. which really sucks cause this is the time when u need them the most. when life gets hard. i slowly feel myself losing contact from the outside world. everything now is about the army. where's my life man. i want it back. i want my friends back too.

army

2009-07-12T14:27:00.002+08:00

army is slowly but surely driving me nuts. i don't know how to explain the mental part of it. i keep dreading booking in even though it's almost 3 months. i really don't know how to survive 2 years. i hate army life. 4 years in ncc taught me that already. all that regimentation and thing. they say army is supposed to turn boys to men. i don't know how true it is. i feel more like a small kid then i ever have been. afraid of so many things. afraid of what's to come. dreading booking in. don't know if one day i would have an emotional breakdown. im trying to hang on. trying. but a small kid in the wilderness can only last that long alone.

alone again.

2009-07-11T00:50:00.001+08:00

alone again (naturally)

In a little while from now,
If I'm not feeling any less sour
I promised myself to treat myself
And visit a nearby tower,
And climbing to the top,
Will throw myself off
In an effort to make it clear to who
Ever what it's like when your shattered
Left standing in the lurch, at a church
Where people 're saying,
"My God that's tough, she stood him up!
No point in us remaining.
May as well go home."
As I did on my own,
Alone again, naturally

To think that only yesterday,
I was cheerful, bright and gay,
Looking forward to, but who wouldn't do,
The role I was about to play
But as if to knock me down,
Reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch,
Cut me into little pieces
Leaving me to doubt,
All about God and His mercy
For if He really does exist
Why did He desert me
In my hour of need?
I truly am indeed,
Alone again, naturally

It seems to me that
There are more hearts
Broken in the world
That can't be mended
Left unattended
What do we do? What do we do?

(instrumental break)

Now looking back over the years,
And what ever else that appears
I remember I cried when my father died
Never wishing to have cried the tears
And at sixty-five years old,
My mother, God rest her soul,
Couldn't understand, why the only man
She had ever loved had been taken
Leaving her to start with a heart
So badly broken
Despite encouragement from me
No words were ever spoken
And when she passed away
I cried and cried all day
Alone again, naturally
Alone again, naturally

========================

one of the songs from ice age 3. from coy cohesion.

new beginning.

2009-07-09T20:32:00.001+08:00

new beginning. the end of CEC. start of BPC. going to be very very tiring and frustrating. but no choice. oh well. reshuffled again. new platoon. said goodbye to some old friends. making new friends. hoping i can survive.

21 guns

2009-06-28T16:32:00.002+08:00

21 Guns- Green day

Do you know what's worth fighting for,
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away
And you feel yourself suffocating?
Does the pain weigh out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins.

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
You and I

When you're at the end of the road
And you lost all sense of control
And your thoughts have taken their toll
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul
Your faith walks on broken glass
And the hangover doesn't pass
Nothing's ever built to last
You're in ruins.

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
You and I

Did you try to live on your own
When you burned down the house and home?
Did you stand too close to the fire?
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone

When it's time to live and let die
And you can't get another try
Something inside this heart has died
You're in ruins.

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky (x2)

you and I.
===================================

i don't know what i'm fighting for now just living day by day like a zombie. i don't really like my life right now. can't imagine the next 2 years. i really don't want to go back. i'm trying to hold on to my sanity but i'm struggling. it's just such a depressing mood and aura. every morning you wake up and you go wtf. just want to sleep. and never wake up. what kind of life am i leading?

sce

2009-06-19T17:56:00.004+08:00

this is not fair. seriously. what the heck. so many people made it. i didn't. what did i do wrong? disappointing. what's wrong. army has screwed my life. now it has screwed it even further. best part. the people u need suddenly aren't there anymore. cause army has taken up too much of your time. what the hell is going on. how much more screwed can this get. why can't my life ever go right.

posting order.

2009-06-19T00:27:00.002+08:00

posting order in 10 hours. where my next 2-9 months i will be. no idea where it'll bring me. not exactly looking forward to it. i miss civi life so much. can't wait to ORD. 600+ days i guess. demoralising. i've only completed 2 months. dang. oh well. suck thumb. what to do?

it hasn't made it easy for me.

2009-06-16T23:05:00.001+08:00

You And I Both
Songwriters: Mraz, Jason;

Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me
Oh things are gonna happen naturally
Oh taking your advice and I'm looking on the bright side
And balancing out the whole thing

Oh but at often times those words get tangled up in lines
And the bright light turns to night
Oh until the dawn it brings
Another day to sing about the magic that was you and me

'Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of
Others only read of the love
Oh the love that I love, yeah

See I'm all about them words
Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
Hundreds of pages, pages, pages forwards
More words than I had ever heard and I feel so alive

'Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of
And if you could see now

Oh love, love, you and I, you and I
Not so little, you and I anymore
And with this silence brings a moral story
More importantly evolving is the glory of a boy

'Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of
And if you could see me now

Well then I'm almost finally out of
I'm finally out of, finally de de de de de de
Well I'm almost finally finally
Well I am free, oh I'm free

And it's okay if you had to go away
Oh, just remember the telephone
Well, they're workin it both ways

But if I never, ever hear them ring
If nothing else I'll think the bells inside
Finally found you someone else and that's okay
'Cause I'll remember everything you sang

'Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of
And if you could see me now

Well then I'm almost finally out of
I'm finally out of, finally de de de de de de
Well I'm almost finally, finally out of words

sick

2009-06-16T22:06:00.000+08:00

i is sick. wrong time to be sick. why do i only get the bug after leaving tekong. dang. polyclinics are lousy. the doctors are as wonderful as the MO's in tekong. sian. i still have no idea what's wrong with me toes and heel. wtf.

pop

2009-06-11T19:50:00.001+08:00

okay. i've pop-ed. the end of 2 months of BMT. leaving behind lots of memories sweat and hardship. 20 more months to go. have to push on. somehow. hope i can go some slack coy in sispec. zulu has done enough for me. time to slack abit. lol. still pondering if i should post my pics on facebook. later kena charge i die.

GSS

2009-05-30T12:54:00.003+08:00

GSS is here. so much i want to buy. bag, bottle, guitar, shoes, caps, shirts, jeans, phone. but cannot. must save money. sian.

post

2009-05-28T21:26:00.002+08:00

it's been awhile since i last blogged and im not really sure where to begin. BMTC is about to end and i will have to readjust all over again just when i have grown comfortable with the people around me. but i guess that's life.

field camp is over. it's the kind of thing you only want to do once. but there are still so many to go! sian! miserable sia. combat rations, hard ground, whole day tactical. sian. was confined during that week too. couldn't book out. sian. sit test week was more miserable. a 12km march. which i think was more than that. sit test itself involved alot of marching. after sit test we had another 16km. almost died. leg full of blisters, toe numb, heel swollen. almost got heat retention. really sucked. had no time to rest before the 16km. so everyone was all over the place.

coming up, drill squad, games day, OC and recruits evening. still have 24km. SIAN. and only 8 weeks gone! omfg. how to make it to ORD.

sian

2009-05-09T22:51:00.002+08:00

army life is zzZ. field camp coming on monday. still not mentally prepared. physically, im not sure either. my toe is still swollen. sian. field camp. hell week. and still can't book out. crap. life can't get any more miserable then this. wait. it can. dang.

im alive.

2009-05-01T15:16:00.002+08:00

im alive. i made it through 2 weeks. and im back for now. im not supposed to talk much about army life. but i think it's okay to say this. it's a mental strain for me. little time to rest. not enough sleep. and it kinda makes you brain dead. 6 more weeks of bmt to go. after that more training after i get posted out. 2 years. how to tahan man. sian.

2009-04-15T22:06:00.000+08:00

1 month.

final post

2009-04-13T21:04:00.002+08:00

this will probably be my final post before i go in. 30th april will probably be the earliest you will hear from me. as i prepare myself for conscription, i have done some reflection. won't be typing them out as there are many many! probably be missing civilian life alot from now on. living beyond my comfort zone. hmm. wonder what it would be like. oh well. filled with fear anxiety and excitment now. don't really know what lies ahead. i suppose just hope for the best and that all goes smoothly. 30th april. i'll be looking forward to it. nvr looked forward to a public holiday so much before.

army

2009-04-09T20:06:00.003+08:00

army coming sia. countdown. 4 days. then it is tekong for 18 days. sian bo! hai. faster faster book out. faster faster finish 9 weeks. den go sispec. den come out. den chiong 2 years! haha. leave everything to fate now. it has funny ways of working. thanks for everything you have given me. thanks for promising to stand by me. thank you. scared. afraid. anxious. excited. all a mix right now. just hope i will survive and com out stronger.

ooo

2009-03-31T20:30:00.002+08:00

okay. my blog's pretty stagnant now and it will probably be for the next 2 years. past few days have been interesting. i've learnt one thing. BEWARE OF EMOTIONAL GIRLS. went out with an emotional girl twice. 1st time she spent 26.10 on snacks. the 2nd time she went on a $100 shopping spree. omg. i can only thank god that she's not my gf and i dun have to support her. lol. haha! pls don't kill me when u read this though. haha.
==============
slacking around. waiting for NS. 2 more weeks. time flies. lol. really wished i had more time.
piggy and me.
15/03. NUS open house! lol.

longtimenopost.

2009-03-25T21:05:00.002+08:00

hmm. long time no post. i'm alive! haha. nothing much to blog about actually. my life has been the same old same old. sitting at home. rotting. watching anime, playing games. ocassionally going out. lol. meanwhile it's about 19 more days to NS for me. hmm. counting down. should start to get ready. buy stuff. draws closer and closer. the fear of the unknown grows stronger. at least i know i have people i can count on. haha.

sunshine in my life! finally. been seeing rainbows alot lately. opefully it bodes well. haha. new beginning in my life soon. tekong here i come.
=====
uni applications are almost complete. hoping to get into fass of any school! lol. left with smu. the irritating one. so much to type. and i have to pay. siannnn. must go atm and slowly press. then everyone behind me will start to get annoyed. haha!

cool

2009-03-19T23:30:00.002+08:00

cool

scared.

2009-03-13T22:06:00.002+08:00

numb.
become so afraid. of the future. of the unknown. uni. ns. and the possibility of retake. i really don't know what to do anymore. what to think. just want to keep running and never look back. take flight and fly away. what an escapist i have become.

results.

2009-03-06T20:36:00.003+08:00

2 years of jc life and this are the results yielded.
2 A's
2 B's
2 C's
1 D.

looks nice doesn't it? not really. let me break it down for you.

h1 pw: A
h1 chinese: B
h1 GP: B
h1 econs: A
h2 math: C
h2 physics: D
h2 chem: C.

now u realise that my A's and B's are probably quite insignificant. my h2's are rather screwed up which lives my future dangling. no sure wherei can go from here. getting a C for chem sucked. D for physics was just as bad. only bright thing i can see is my math improved. hmm. shall take one step at a time. and see where i end up. hope everything works out.

================

no pleasure without pain.
no light without darkness.
no sweetness without bitterness.
no love without hate.
no success without failure.

whoever said that it is not the results that matter but the journey or effort must have had everything going his way.

dday

2009-03-05T23:13:00.002+08:00

and i said to the man who stood at the gate of the year: "give me light so that i may tread safely into the unknown."

and her replied :"go out into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God. that shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way.

-minnie louise haskins

i guess all we can do now is have faith.

100%

2009-03-03T20:07:00.000+08:00

no more.

time of my life.

rainbow

2009-02-25T22:23:00.002+08:00

this really made my day!

saw it while walking home. it's a double rainbow if u can see. it was real wonderful and coud actually see the entire arch. was really nice. it's little stuff like this that make life wonderful. the last time i saw a double rainbow was during happier times. perhaps. the storm is over. and my rainbow will finally appear :)

blog.

2009-02-22T23:18:00.003+08:00

screw blogger. i just typed a bunch of random stuff and it error-ed on me. how am i supposed to know what i typed? argh. never mind. haha. nothing of great importance. haha. nobody's reading anyway, so i dun suppose i have an obligation to attempt to entertain anyone. lol.

NS?

2009-02-18T15:12:00.003+08:00

couldn't sleep last night and somehow ended up thinking about NS. in about a month's time, tekong island would be coming. i don't know what it is about NS. despite stories of it being slack, there is still a certain amount of fear that i hold. fear of what, i'm not sure. perhaps it is the unknown. all of us fear the unknown. that's why man has created so many things in an attempt to understand or think we understand the world. treading into the unknown has always scared us. doing it alone makes it worse. i suppose this is one journey that i need to take and start alone. but i guess somehow everything will turn out fine.

stand on my own 2 feet.

2009-02-15T12:51:00.002+08:00

after some time you will realise that life is too big to fuss over small things. over time people who said would be there for you will walk away and people you used to talk to grow distant. new people walk into your life, old ones fade away. so after some time you will find that being disappointed or let down by those whom you once trusted doesn't really mean anything anymore and ultimately, the only person that will stand by you is the one you see in the mirror. so have faith and put trust in yourself. don't be bothered by the people around you or how they treat you cause it's too superficial. stand on your own too feet and learn to not rely on others. cause unlike the shadows that fade away, you will have to walk through everything even if it's by yourself.
===========================
-trust is something easily broken, foolishly given and fast becoming meaningless. you are yourself and the only one who will stand by you is the guy looking back at you in the mirror.

random bored.

2009-02-12T22:33:00.002+08:00

i'm bored. real bored. can't l4d. dota is getting boring. so i'm only watching shaman king now. ragnarok isn't even fun. hai. i need a social life. i need to go out. get some sun. everyday rotting at home. sian. can't buy a psp either. it's overpriced. wrong timing sia. sian. and my pay isn't here yet either. i should be out looking for a job. but there really isn't anything out there right now. so here i am stuck at home, wasting my time away. hai.

valentine's day is coming. i almost kinda forgot. same as last year. haha. i guess it doesn't hold much meaning to people like me. haha. probably meeting up with a few friends or catch up with the army people. shall see how it goes. or at most i can stay at home and rot as usual. lol.
===============
-i need a social life dammit.

irritated.

2009-02-11T13:06:00.002+08:00

trying to get l4d to work on my com. all i get is blank screen with sound. so irritating. i;ve tried everything. running in windowed mode, changing resolution, screen ratio and v-synching (yes i adjusted it based on sound). but it still doesn't work and im getting kinda pissed and irritated. why doesn't it work? dammit. irritating.

...

2009-02-05T11:59:00.001+08:00

i guess at some point in life, people whom you used to be close to move and and no longer need you in their lives. i guess only fools stay on to watch over when they're no longer needed.
-time to move on.

school.

2009-02-04T20:08:00.003+08:00

went back to school today. i realised just how much i miss school. how much i miss sitting at the void deck, how much i miss sitting by the bleachers, how much i miss having cca, how much i miss the people there. somehow i feel so disconnected now that im not going anywhere and just sitting at home all day.

went back to have a look at orientation. meet some people. everyone seemed so busy and engaged while i'm here wasting my life away. it was nice to see some people again. but you realise how long it's been since you last talked to them or caught up with them. school now seems so familiar but yet so foreign at the same time. so much has changed and i know nothing about it. wanting to be part of it no longer seems possible now. cause everything is just so different.
===============================

it's been ages since i last ran! 2km almost killed me today! i should go run more often. seriously. while running it rained. which was quite nice. running in the rain. while running i saw sunlight. made me realise that for a rainbow to appear, there must be rain. so hopefully i will see my rainbow soon.

cny and job?

2009-01-27T21:29:00.002+08:00

ok. it's been a long time since i last blogged. er. well. i've survived my job. plenty of cuts, muscle aches but i survived. gotta hand in my timesheet soon. so that i can get paid. made new friends. pokka, F&N and marigold. fun bunch. all doing the same rubbish. when nothing to do we all talk rubbish together. lol. but now i'm unemployed. need to find another job. sian. please let me know if there's any lobang!
===================
chinese new year is over. nothing out of the ordinary. same old same old. nobody to go out with either. alot of ppl need book in le. others not free. so sian. nothing much to do i suppose. ah well. 2 more CNY of boredom i suppose. haha. while in army. stoning life. on the bright side. im abit richer now. after the ang baos and job.
===================
the walls of the room draw closer.

why bother

2009-01-20T00:03:00.001+08:00

why bother showing concern?

random.

2009-01-16T23:29:00.003+08:00

random post. but feeling abit weird. should one really care so much about other people? even when they appear not to? it's weird how some people can be so close but change totally in a month or so. i really have no idea. people you used to be able to talk to about anything under the sun are now people who you struggle to even hold a 5 sentence conversation with. perhaps this is us. we get bored with old things and move on with new ones. it's like standing in the middle of town. everyone just moves on. so perhaps to some, you're a mere passerby in their lives. someone in the middle of the crowd that will sooner or later get lost and you lose sight of. perhaps this is life.

random.

2009-01-15T23:12:00.001+08:00

random post. saw this on pong's blog.
==================================
"if you're always looking for reasons not to be with somebody, then you'll always find them, but at some point maybe you should let go and give your heart what it deserves."

..

2009-01-14T22:18:00.002+08:00

last day of freedom. going to slog it out till cny from tomorrow onwards. all for the sake of money. it's amazing what humans can do for money. so i guess this is desperation at its peak.
====================
as i lay down to bed each night, i stare at the ceiling and i wonder if you're thinking of me too.

random.

2009-01-12T15:16:00.002+08:00

hurting people hurt people and are easily hurt.
========================
3 days. 22 hours. calloused hands. many scratches later. i have emerged from the 1st 3 days of my job. theoretically should have earned about 120. but. im not sure yet. quite messy. quite screwed. shall not name who, what and which company or agency. but it is pretty screwed la the way things work. starting work again on fri. don't even know if im working on CNY eve. yea. it's pretty screwed. oh well. what to do. i need money.

is it possible?

2009-01-03T22:07:00.000+08:00

is it possible?

is it possible to fall in love with someone who's almost a stranger. someone whom you don't really know.
someone who you barely talk to. someone who u barely talks to you.you don't even know what the other person likes. you don't even know what she doesn't like. but you just feel it.
is it even possible?but what if the person don't care? or does it all happen in the movies. right. it's called movies.

1st of the ny.

2009-01-02T19:03:00.008+08:00

1st post of the new year. hmm. let's see. i have no idea what to write about.

new year countdown was a simple affair. met up with xuan, liangay, ngaim, cygay, beier and nic. suppose go ecp. but no idea why we ended up in simei eat BK =.=

played abit of cards, went to vivo to mix with ppl. martin came. crowded. sat down play cards until countdown. cnt hear also. abit of fireworks. after cd, everyone chiong-ed for buses and MRT. waited for half an hour for bus. in the end too crowded so took mrt to xuan's place. so lq, martin, ngiam, cyx and me ended up gaying in xuan's small room. play cards, watch movie, fifa. slept at about 7 till 9. thats about it i guess.

===================================================

08 has been a year of memories. good ones bad ones. the getting together, the break up. mr lim's death, a levels, prelims. fun'o rama, guitar camp, glissando, esplande performances. just so much so much. an exhausting year. filled with memories and great people. some not so. haha. pictures speak a thousand words. so i suppose i shall let pictures do the talking.

===================================================

09. a new year. but im doing the same thing. walking down the same road. watched yes man that day. i should start opening up and saying yes. i should pick up the courage. i need to. instead of silently waiting and hoping. sometimes silently watching over someone isn't all that great. it's time for me to change. 2009. you never know what will happen. a new year, a new beginning.

sian

2008-12-29T19:08:00.002+08:00

sian. xmas was spent alone. newyear likely to end up the same way. hai. why does this always happen. wtf la!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sian!!!!!!!!!!!

earned 20 bucks today. abit of money liao. hai. still not enough. going down rv to try soon.
========================
seriously, who cares?

job hunt

2008-12-22T17:56:00.001+08:00

the job hunt is getting from bad to worse. nobody's hiring! and all those hiring are looking for long terms one! 6 months? that's like wtf? and whatever was the article about part-timers in demand. damn. i seriously need a job. im broke. really. hai. applied for a few. no calls yet. ahh!

job.

2008-12-19T18:30:00.003+08:00

went job hunting yesteday. not a fruitful one. bakerzin was crap. they wanted 6 months people. which is not stated on the website. why don't advertisers just state everything in the ad. instead of making people go down and realise oh. damn. i can't.

so i went down to orchard to try for coffeeclub. interviewed. but i don't really feel like taking it. hope they won't call. 5 bucks per hour. and they won't put friends together. (found that out in the interview and i couldn't really go "er. sorry i don't want". which again brings me to the point of advertisers putting info on ads instead of hiding it.) which kinda sucks. so i may end up in starbucks. guess i have no choice do i. ah well. i am in a real need for cash now though. i wanna invite people out for x'mas and newyear. but i guess nothing will work out. especially when you're broke. dammit.

-you have no idea do you?

daniel powter

2008-12-14T17:29:00.002+08:00

Best of Me - Daniel Powter

I was made the wrong way
won't you do me the right way
where you gonna be tonight
'cause I won't stay too long

maybe you're the light for me
when you talk to me it strikes me
won't somebody help me
'cause I don't feel too strong

Was it something that I said
was it something that I did
or the combination of both that did me in

You know I'm hoping you'll sing along
Though it's not your favorite song
don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say

you know that some of us spin again
when you do, you need a friend
don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me
and I hate the thought of finally being erased
baby that's the best of me

Everything's behind you
but the hope still stands beside you
living in every moment have I wasted all your time

Was there something that I said
was there something that I did
or the combination I broke that did me in

You know I'm hoping you'll sing along
though it's not your favorite song
don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say

you know that some of us spin again
when you do, you need a friend
don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me
and I hate the thought of finally being erased
baby that's the best of me

baby that's the best of me

You know I'm hoping you'll sing along
though it's not your favorite song
don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say

you know that some of us spin again
when you do, you need a friend
don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me
and I hate the thought of finally being erased

baby that's the best of me

update.

2008-12-11T17:21:00.005+08:00

okay. i decided to move my lazy ass and fill the empty space with something. er. so here goes.

today went to town with stanley, joshua, daniel, hari and angel. went to meet phuong to have lunch with her. sort of a goodbye or good riddance lunch. haha. got her a cap. lunch was a quick affair. phuong had to rush off since she came out late. so we went down to paradiz to play lan. yes, even angel. played cs. quite funny. especially hari. played for like until 3+ then we left. hmm. that's about it. lol. no pictures to upload. didn't take any. there wasn't any goodbye hugs or etc etc. just like any other normal day out.

=================================

okay. perhaps i should talk a little about taiwan.

day one was basically travelling. had to catch an 8am flight which transited at hk. the place looked quite run down. not really impressive. went to 淡水 (danshui) a harbour of sorts? just in time to catch the sunset. went to a night market nearby 淡水老街 (danshui old street?) to taste some of their food. smelly toufu. ah ge, which was some sort of bun with noodles inside. after hat went to shilin night market (市林夜市). looked around the food section. had oahjian and oah mee sua. which is oyster carrot cake and oyster noodles. lol. oh. also had their XXL chicken. which is literally huge. ended up in yaward hotel. some golf course resort.

bridge at danshui.

bridge.

view from danshui.

more view from danshui.

another view.

night market.

ahge.

oahjian.

oah mee sua.

XXL chicken.

taiwan

2008-12-07T18:29:00.003+08:00

back. taiwan was okay i suppose. interesting place. but different from what i expected? scenery is awesome. shall slowly upload the photos. haha. so many. it's going to take me forever to upload. 900 over photos. die.

been away for so long. missed out on so much. missed prom. missed camp. missed concert. saw the photos. everyone is so grown up. 2 years have gone so fast. so many memories. so many things i'll rmb. leaving me all lost and confused now. lol.

away.

2008-11-27T22:25:00.001+08:00

away till the 6th.

woot!

2008-11-26T18:06:00.002+08:00

been hanging out alot with the guys recently. stanley, daryl, joshua, hari, daniel. all of us getting super high over i do not know what. just random stuff and we'll just keep laughing and laughing. quie fun. yea man. ns coming up too. think i'll meet more great people. guys who would stick together for life. instead of just disappearing from your life. =)

over!

2008-11-24T18:26:00.003+08:00

over! A's have been over for a week. seems like so long ago. been busy busy busy! went out quite abit. met up with sec school friends, went kbox abit. had chalet. 4 days. but it passed so fast! hardly felt like i did anything. the day just seemed to pass so fast. so weird. haha. quite tiring. didn't get much rest. had fun. got to see other sides of people. though the place was sucky. but friends are more then enough! haha. should appreciate more things in life. i realised. that i got lost for awhile. now im back! haha. shall update more another day!

a's

2008-11-15T21:24:00.003+08:00

a's are finally ending. after an exhausting 6 months. it's finally going to be over. feeling quite decent. hope i did okay. quite worried. hai hai. felt i did decent for prelims. but ended up like crap. oh well. i can only pray. haha.

lots of stuff happened. left me quite exhausted and mentally strained. glad it's over and i managed to pull through somehow. perhaps i can get some rest now. and put the past behind me and move on. thanks for all the well wishes! hope everyone does well for a's too!

really wanna thank so many people who's been there for me. especially people whom i keep messaging. yan, lidya. thanks so much for listening to my nonsense! sorry for disturbing you guys. love you guys. it's finally going to be over! i miss guitar so much! haha.

well. i finally got my tekong letter. BMTC school 1 ant 1pm. 14th april. don't know if my parents will be free. another chapter in my life. well, at least i don't have to think for 2 years. haha. and i finally ordered my phone online! whee. it's coming on tuesday. can't wait :)

home.

2008-10-19T17:48:00.003+08:00

A home is a place of residence or refuge. It is usually a place where an individual or a family can rest in and be able to store personal property. While a house is often referred to as a "home", the concept of "home" expresses itself upon a much broader denotation of a physical dwelling. Many people think of home in terms of where they grew up or where they lived in, a place that brings back old memories or feelings, and a home can even be a time rather than an actual place. Since it can be said that humans are generally creatures of habit, the state of a person's home has been known to physiologically influence their behaviour, emotions and overall mental health.

A's are coming. i'm not sure if this is a home or a house anymore. it's so depressing staying here. does it really constitute a home? it's so bad that i have to mug outside. encouragement and support has never come from home. only criticism and the focus on the flaws. it's like scoring 99 but the focus is on the one point lost.

perhaps it was my fault. for doing well in PSLE. for getting into a brand school. so now the expectations are so heavy. expected to do well, expected to score. expected to be close to perfect. it has always been this way. prelims. 9 points. failed HCL. focus was on why i failed. never mind the fact that i have never gotten below 20 since sec 3. then came O levels. 11 points. never mind that i got A2 for both maths which i had been constantly failing. never mind that i passed HCL. never mind that i did better for all the other subjects then i ever did in sec school.
ENG:B4. or rather L1R5:11.
complacent i was accused of being. believing that my school's paper was harder. not working hard enough. 2 years on and it's still being brought up.
A levels. chinese. B. complacent i was accused of being. if only i hadn't been scrapping chinese since secondary school. perhaps i actually rock big time in chinese. but i didn't put in effort. so i got a B.
PW A? so what? no big deal.
j2 term exams. phy C, chem B.
GP S. WHY YOU FAIL GP? FAIL GP CAN GO WHERE?
accused of not studying during prelims. said never see me study. see my sister study so hard. well perhaps i've been playing in school all day till 8 before going home. perhaps that's what i've been doing.

perhaps i'm thinking too much. perhaps it's normal. perhaps effort isn't all that it's hyped up to be. perhaps results matter the most in the end. i mean perfection. after all. effort without results still equates to nothing. effort should be spelt with an A.

sian.

2008-10-12T20:21:00.000+08:00

A's are edging closer and im losing concentration. oh man.

went through another 4 hours of math again yesterday. why is it that the questions there seem easier? oh well. i only hope i can do well for A's. lol. hoping for it to pass real soon. meanwhile. i need to mug hard!

updates!

2008-10-03T21:04:00.002+08:00

updates at last!
last update was quite some time ago. many many things happened in between.
weeks are getting tiring. endless mountains of homework. sian. like cannot finish one. where got time for revision? hai hai.

===========================

mr lim passed away last friday. went to his funeral on sunday. it was rather sudden. that death can come. it doesn't seem fair at times. but who am i to question the way the world works? only hope for the best for his family now. that they can deal with it. death is scary. when it happens so close to home and so suddenly. hai. makes you realise how fragile life can be. and how other things seem so insignificant.

===========================

on a brighter note. we went out to celebrate phuong's birthday after that. it's quite amazing. that it took something so significant to get us together to celebrate a friend's birthday. it was quite a relaxing time. where we can forget about homework and studies for awhile. oh well.
===========================

another tiring week this week. lucky for the hari raya holiday. been doing math. my math is improving. by abit at least. going for crash course tmr and next week. hope it helps. 30 more days to A's. got to work hard!

====================

saw a double rainbow :) hope it brings good luck :)

torture

2008-09-19T21:03:00.007+08:00

staying at home is becoming a torture for me. nag and nag and nag and nag and nag. staying in school more from now on. shall stay later so that i don't need to see them. losing motivation for everything. going for lessons is no longer something i look forward to.

staying in school till late is nice. at night. things are much quieter. there're less people. allows me to destress.

==========

-still thinking of you.

why

2008-09-19T21:03:00.006+08:00

life has been one complicated mess so far. and i need help for math. seriously. i'm afraid that i can't do well for phy and chem too. how!! jialat. i need to mug. mug real hard! i need tuition. math tuition. sorry for letting those who had faith in me. i didn't do well enough.

honours night rehearsal was a bore. it's going to take such a looonnnngggg time! hai. sian. 436 people take. take until when?? sian. still got many many speeches.

finally went to run on monday. run abit only want die already. lousy. i need to get fit.

===============================

why. why must this happen. i had no idea what happened. i don't know how to deal with it either. it's so complicated and it hurts that you're so distant. i don't know what to do now. what to think. i'm just praying. praying for peace. to be able to think clearly. this is not the time for me to get emotional. i cannot afford it. maybe life's just like that. one big test. one after another.

don't know if you'll be reading this. but the fact that u feel guilty. feel pressurised makes it worse. i just hope. that we get our thoughts sorted out. and maybe. it won't be so difficult to leave if i had to. im praying i don't. time doesn not heal wounds. it leaves ugly scars. i need you. to soothe those scars. hai. complicated.

the stars mean hope. for hope is always shining. and i believe in it. don't ask me to stop folding. cause i won't till i'm done.

thunder

2008-09-16T19:44:00.001+08:00

Today is a winding road
Thats taking me to places that I didn't want to go, whoa
Today in the blink of an eye
I'm holding on to something and I do not know why I tried

I tried to read between the lines
I tried to look in your eyes
I want a simple explanation; what I'm feeling inside
I gotta find a way out
Maybe there's a way out

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder

So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder

Today is a winding road
Tell me where to start and tell me something I don't know, whoa
Today I'm on my own
I cant move a muscle and I cant pick up the phone, I don't know

And now I'm itching for the tall gras
sAnd longing for the breeze
I need to step outside, just to see if I can breathe
I gotta find a way out
Maybe there's a way out

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder

So bring on the rain,
Yeah I'm walking on a tightrope
I'm wrapped up in vines
I think Ill make it out but you just gotta give me time
Strike me down with lightning
Let me feel you in my veins
I wanna let you know how much I feel your pain

Today is a winding road
That's taking me to places that I didn't want to go, whoa

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder

So bring on the rain
Oh baby bring on the pain
And listen to the thunder

post prelims

2008-09-14T14:30:00.002+08:00

post prelims is like. sian. i totally screwed it. i could do them. but why? i don't seem to understand why i did so badly. hai. something's wrong. i need to find out what. shall talk to kwok on monday. dammit. 2 months. work hard. i shall do my best. nothing worth gaining was ever gained without effort. - Thomas Roosevelt.

=========================

it's been two weeks. something almost happened. im glad it didn't. i don't know how i would have dealt with it. i hope it will never happen ever again. on the bright side. we survived it and came through together. im glad. thanks for everything.

emo

2008-09-05T21:50:00.002+08:00

im feeling strangely emo. i have no idea why. sudden lost of motivation. don't feel like going to school. don't think i'll be prepared for A's. just want to sleep it away. i guess im just afraid. afraid to be a big disappointment again. i was in the O's. now come the A's. fear. fear of the unknown. im struggling right now. to contain everything inside. life is like one big mess right now. so large. it's one of those moments where u feel small and insignificant. and i need to get over it. haiyo haiyo. life is so complicated. i must get over this.
missing you.

boring

2008-09-02T21:43:00.002+08:00

holidays are boring. no outings. cause nobody organises them. we can't rely on our class rep and our usual enthusiastic pet is back in vietnam. so i suppose we'll be rotting at home once again. oh well. just like june. perhaps i shall start mugging. just perhaps. i've printed out physics. that's a good start. but meanwhile. zzzz.

updates!

2008-08-29T17:11:00.004+08:00

okay. lots of updates. quite a daunting task to update everything. but i have to start somewhere right? lol. well. prelims was kinda screwed, here's a quick sumary.

Gp: i think i should be passing this one. my only fear is being marked as out of point for essay.

Econs: i think this should be another pass. hoping for a C at least. keeping my fingers crossed. had to sit for 3 hours straight.

Math: U.

Chemistry: not really confident of doing well. hoping to pass after lacking time.

Physics: had hope. until i did paper one. now i'm hoping for a C at best?

so now my grades are all over the place. quite messy. don't know how i am going to deal with A's. i need to study harder.

=========================

after prelims has been quite fun. going out with class. quite tiring though. walking talking laughing. i hit pong that day. quite hard. it was a spur of a moment thing. perhaps some part of me just grew frustrated with all her self-entertaining acts at the expense of others. but still. shouldn't have hit her so hard. tried to call her the next day to apologise. but she didn't answer. oh well.

=========================

yesterday was surprise xuewen day. stanley's great idea to get up bright and early to surprise her with a cake. tired. haha. well. at least she was surprised. went to AMK hub to check out her german boyfriend. had lunch there. bought a cool musical box. after that went to joshua's place play awhile. quite tiring sia. everyday go out. and quite a strain on me financially too. i need to save money! aargh! money no enough!

=========================

today's teacher's day. had gifts prepared for teachers. the concert was. er. bad? lol. like nobody paid much attention. lol. ah well. went back RV to meet 4d. only saw Miss Eu. she doesn't really remember us. but we remember her alright. lol. threw abit of frisbee. been a long time. went to vivo for lunch. we talked abit. more of listening to NJ life. haha. walked around abit. quite tired. so here i am. at home now. lol. didn't exactly have a good night last night. tired.

well. holidays are here. time to slack abit. before the final lap.

=========================

the way the STTA handled the ping pong incident was disgraceful. but that will be a story for next time. when i'm awake enough to rant. got this pic from mrbrownshow. you should go listen. it's interesting.

whee

2008-08-23T20:43:00.003+08:00

prelims are over! well. almost. i'm left with 2 more paper1's one tuesday and wednesday. so much to alk about. but i'm short of time though. people pressing me for updates will have to wait awhile more i'm afraid. sorry! haha. but i just wanna thank a few people. who rememberd it was prelims and wished me luck! a big thanks and hugs to charis, ych, yanlin, eileen and lidya! love you guys loads. thanks for remembering and thanks for the well wishes. i hope i've done well enough to pass. =) i have tried.
=========================================
here's something random.

buy?

2008-08-03T16:27:00.000+08:00

to buy or not to buy? it's 20 bucks though.

hmm

2008-08-02T16:28:00.003+08:00

today. i overslept.
so i missed physics paper 3 mock. oh well. haha. i set my alarm at 7 it rang. i shut it off and fell back into deep slumber and woke up near 8. so i decided not to go. haven't finish studying anyway.

prelims are edging closer. one week left. there's still so much to study. haha. ah! i don't think i can finish. especially math. die! howhow? haish. so sian. lidya and yanlin keep nagging me to study. haha. im trying! lol. stay back till 8+ just to study. not doing great. sleepy and hungry. haha. but at least better than at home. lol.
================================

i miss throwing. haha. regretting not continuing in frisbee. haha. it's almost an addiction now. i don't know why. perhaps i've been studying too hard! yikes! haha. i shall resolve to go for a pick up game. though intimidating. i shall try. i shall go and have a look how it is like. anyone wanna join me?
================================

school is boring as usual. now i have forced consult. haha. i don't know what to ask during the consult! it's so weird. i mean i don't know what i don't know so i don't know what i want to ask. get it? confusing. haha. oh well. i shall try. doing prelim papers. hopefully can do well for prelims. i need to do well to make up for math. hoping to get a pass. haish.
=================================

it's interesting how people can be so exclusive. especially sports group. everything is exclusive. and things only happen between them. oh well i guess that's the difference between sports and performing arts. they go thru all sorts of rubbish together. which makes them closer i guess. another regret. not joining a sports cca. oh well. haha. regrets are part and parcel of life. haha.
================================

i seem to have many thoughts. but i can't quite string them together right now. mugging is getting to me. damn. i think i will continue studying now.
================================

thanks lidya and yanlin for putting up with all my nonsense.

new sis

2008-07-27T22:01:00.002+08:00

found my long lost lil' sis! haha. she's a nice girl. haha. things have been good for me recently. found a great friend and a new lil's sis. hope things get better from her. it's almost like watching the sunrise =)

updates.

2008-07-26T15:08:00.002+08:00

another week. another boring week. haish. so sian.
monday was starving as usual. tuesday was boring. went to look abit at guitar on wed and thurs. juniors are doing fine i guess. they can somewhat play together already. not that bad. they're progressing faster than we did. the wonders of SYF. friday was tiring. played from 2-430. tennis, frisbee badminton. went to queensway. saw a nice bag. but. $60. cannot afford. contribute to the buy rj a bag fund! haha. oh well.

speaking of frisbee. im missing out on alot of awesome action while im sitting here rotting away. the tournement is now on. and i so want to be a part of it. but i made a bad call. so i guess i just have to deal with it. tssk.
============================
a young life was taken on thursday. quite sad. at such an age. set me thinking about how fragile life is. how it is so easily extinguished. how we never know what will happen. cherish those around us. protect those we love even if they dont feel the same about us. cause you never know what will happen next. rest in peace.
=============================
not feeling very well right now. perhaps cause of playing in the rain yesterday. anyway. the obsession is dieing down. it's no longer an obsession. but. i still find myself thinking about you. perhaps it's the way you look.
perhaps it's your smile.
perhaps it's your eyes.
perhaps it's the way you make my heart skip a beat.
perhpas it's just you.

week.

2008-07-19T16:25:00.002+08:00

this week. boring sums it up. all revision.
monday: boring.
tuesady: boring.
wednesday: boring. owned by time assignment.
thursday: useless half day.
friday: tennis. and now my arm hurts. oh and chriswini's birthday.
saturday: gp mock.
================
i need some reprieve like seriously. quite tired and sian alr. haish. oh well. i guess that's the life of a levels. and now imeem is screwed up. damn.

I Will Carry You

2008-07-17T21:52:00.002+08:00

old

2008-07-14T21:21:00.001+08:00

old but nice skin. =)

cookie monster

2008-07-13T20:08:00.002+08:00

i shall call you cookie monster from now on! hahax. though you don't see me. but. hahax. hopefully. the obsession wears off and i can concentrate on mugging.

the hub opens till 7 tmr. whee!

weekly update

2008-07-11T20:25:00.004+08:00

weekly update on my life.

monday was a school holiday. whee!

another week. another load of work. have been mugging in the hub alot recently. yay. but might not be enough. mum complain that i don't study which is so unfair cause she doesn't see it. and says i don't. but my sis can be staring at the com and be called mugging. whatever man.

and i wonder why i don't like to come home. i wonder why i choose to mug in hub not home.

seriously.

getting the ultimate addiction again recently. part of me regrets not continuing with it. if not i could be playing now. dammit. can only randomly throw around now. so not satisfying.

pe shifted up to 2pm. so now we're doing tennis. interesting. wrist strain. i should remember to wear proper shoes the next round. my white shoes are so worn out. and once again we got a casualty. apparently xuewen fell. didn't even know about it. hahax.

===================

life without a cca is weird. hahax. part of e feels missing. but now i guess it's time to mug. and mug hard i shall try. been thinking about my regrets of jc life. can name a few now.

not continuing in canoeing.
not continuing in ultimate.
not signing up for ocip.
not paying attention in math lecture.
not been more active in school.
not taking bio and taking physics instead.
not getting an A for my chinese.
not being braver for you.

eh. im not sure if i can think of anything else. this is about it for now. perhaps i will think of more soon. till then i'll be mugging for my mock econs tomorrow. plenty of mock papers coming up!

miss

2008-07-10T21:55:00.002+08:00

u have no idea how often i think of you.

miss you lots!

acge.

u're missing in my life.

2008-07-08T20:54:00.001+08:00

apologizeeeeeee

2008-07-07T20:42:00.000+08:00

was never a great fan of ai. but this is nice.

damn.

2008-07-06T22:04:00.004+08:00

im nothing more than an emotional wreck right now. how many times have i made the same mistake. i keep telling myself not to. but it happens. wrong choices wrong words wrong decisions. im just a major mistake.

help

2008-07-06T13:37:00.002+08:00

help.
====
screw off buggers who leave anonymous tags. losers who have to hide behind an alias.

feeling

2008-07-05T22:03:00.002+08:00

no words can describe my feelings now. im going on a downward spiral. a free fall. once again, my life is in the dumpster. im emotionally wasted.

im playing this game called life. im taking a gamble. and i seem to be losing.

week 2

2008-07-04T20:32:00.002+08:00

week two has been pretty sian. been very sick for the whole week.super tired and zapped. struggled to get out of bed each day. and i couldn't really mug. significant (or not so significant) events that took place this week.

caught the enrichment lecture on "the dark continent" on tuesday. was okay i guess.

HECG talk on wednesday.

handover on thursday.

nothing else i guess.

handing over was weird. or should i say retiring. i still don't really know what my cca really means to me or meant to me. it's a weird feeling. well. all the best to the next batch. i've made alot of mistakes recently. ones that i probably will never be able to atone for. mistakes that make me seem like a complete idiot. wait. i always do.

so much time spent in the ensemble. and i have yet to sort all my thoughts out. i still have a draft waiting for me to complete. i don't know when i will be able to though. haish.

well. on a brighter note. i got this!

=================

5 more weeks to prelims.

i need to mug.

this is what my outlook is like now.

bleak.

it's not helping that YOU've become an obsession. and that i've presented myself to be nothing more than an idiot. damn. perhaps that's all i really am.

i don't know how to move on.

i don't now if i can get to where i want to go.

im not ready for this.

story of man

2008-06-29T14:58:00.002+08:00

Story Of Man

DAY ONE
God : "Ah Gu" (cow) I had created you. Your job is to go to the field with the farmer all day long. You will provide the energy to pull thing. You will also provide milk for Chinese to drink. You are to work all day under the sun. In return, you will get only to eat grass. For that, you will had a life span of 50 years

Cow : Objection! What .... I work all under the sun and only get to eat grass. On top of that, I have to give my milk away. So tough, you want me to live 50 years. I will take 20 years and you have the remaining 30 years back

God : OK (agreed)

DAY TWO
God : "Ah Kow" (dog) I had created you for purpose. You are to sit by the door of your master's house. Should any one come in, you are to bark at him. In return, you will get to eat your master leftovers . I will give you 20 years life span.

Dog : Objection! What ..... I need to sit by the doors all day and will bark at people, and what I get to eat ....... LEFTOVERS! This isn't right, I will take 10 years and the remaining 10 years keep it for yourself.

God : OK (agreed)

DAY THREE
God : "Lao Kao" (monkey) I had created you for purpose. Your job is to entertain people. You will make them laugh, act stupid and make faces. You will also do somersaults and swing on tree to amaze them. In return you get to eat bananas and peanuts. For that I give you 20 years to live.
Monkey : Objection! This is ridiculous, I gotta make faces and make people laugh and even do somersaults and swing from tree to tree. Tell you what, I give 10 years of my life to thank you for my existence and I will take 10 years.

God : OK (agreed)

DAY FOUR
God : Man, I had created you . You are my best piece of work, for that you only need to sleep, eat, play, sleep and again and again and do nothing else. You will get to eat the best food and play the best toys. All you have to do is enjoy all your life. For this kind of life, I will give you 20 years.

Man : Objection. What all I had to do is relax and enjoy myself and get 20 years. Tell you what, you have 30 years back from Ah Kow, 10 years from Ah Gu and 10 years from Lao Kao and probably you don't know what to do with this life's. Why not I take them all and I will have 70 years life span to live.

God : OK no problem (with smile)

We eat, sleep, play and enjoy life for the first 20 years when we are growing up.
Work like a cow for the next 30 years to raise our family.
Sit outside the door and bark next 10 years after retired
And finally, we make faces and peform monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren for the final 10 years.
============================
p.s. no offence intended. just something amusing i stumbled upon. maybe we shouldn't be so greedy. hmm.

school.

2008-06-27T21:25:00.002+08:00

one week into school. nothing much happening. it's pretty much of a rush now. to be able to do as many things as possible. pretty much cramped up and squeezed schedule. many things to get done. little time. j1's having terms. seems like yesterday that i just sat for terms. how time flies. hub is open for mugging. perhaps i shall stay more often. thursday's session was productive.

went for NS check-up on monday. pesD for the time being. till they discover the truth about whether i have thalessemia. most probably will end up in pesB. let's just get NS over and done with.

made someone very upset recently. deeply apologetic. but apologies are just words. tried to comfort. but ended up doing worse. i may not be born with a silver tongue, but i promise to be there to listen.

spain's in the first finals for many years. after beating russia. so it's spain vs germany in the finals. i'll be rooting for spain. go spain. i don't think i'll get up and watch though.

another anonymous tagger. please do have the courtesy at least to put down your name. instead of coming up with random nicknames. if you have something to say. admit it.

disappointment

2008-06-26T22:11:00.002+08:00

This morning I woke up,
Bursting with confidence,
Overflowing with excitement,
I was convinced I'd done it,
Convinced I had succeeded

When I found out the news,
I was crushed,
Feeling empty and broken,
But somehow I managed,
To pull myself together,
Determined not to cry
Determined to be fine

Disappointment can be bitter
You feel as if you've lost your worth
But without disappointment,
We have nowhere left to go

Hope can be amazing,
You feel ready to face a better future
Because without hope,
We are forever lost

This morning I woke up,
Grasping for perfection,
Tonight I fall asleep --
Perfection eluding me,
But hope residing in my heart.

http://www.booksie.com/poetry/poetry/beautiful_simplicity/perfection-eluded

======================

perhaps thats all i am. a huge disappointment. but. you're not. so. have faith.

sorry.

2008-06-22T16:18:00.002+08:00

i met a nice girl. a bright spark. always positive. it was also nice to talk to her. she was very encouraging. but somehow. i feel that i've let her down. the faith she had in me. im not mugging. this is bad. im sorry.

holidays ending

2008-06-20T17:18:00.002+08:00

today's like the last official day of school holidays. so sad =( let's see. and what have i accomplished? 2 chem prelim papers, halogen tutorial, 1 gp compre, 1 essy plan and i managed to study abit of math. dammit. it's not enough. i need to work harder. i need to mug.

kungfu panda.

2008-06-18T17:29:00.002+08:00

kungfu panda is nice! it's hilarious. favourite character. mister old tortoise. note how he's called master ooguay. and how the rat's called master shifu. lol.

"there is no good news or bad news. only news." -master ooguay.

f305

2008-06-17T17:19:00.002+08:00

ooo. interesting phone. hahax. will wait for the price. or maybe i'll end up getting the iPhone! hahax. but i heard it's not going to be cheap =(

stupid

2008-06-16T18:01:00.000+08:00

"The only way to comprehend what mathematicians mean by Infinity is to contemplate the extent of human stupidity." - Voltaire

sian

2008-06-12T17:29:00.000+08:00

wtf?

2008-06-11T17:54:00.002+08:00

hmm. i sitting down here blogging. when should be at cip. why why? let's see. well. this morning i woke up and went to school for GP consultation. armed with my compre, we set out to question miss s as much as we can. when i got there, only daryl was there. was supposed to have 4 people. but surprise surprise, one cancelled it. i should have taken that as a omen of things to come. but i didn't think much of it and we spent 45 minutes talking about AQ =) wow.

with GP a done deal and a reality check on how close prelim are, daryl and i went to JEC for lunch, waiting for 3pm to go to salvation army to play soccer with the kids again. after munching on macs and discussing about euro (how spain rocks) we went to change (okay, perhaps only me) and stood outside the arcade watching people waste ther money, while waiting for stanley to come.

ring ring the phone rang. it was stanley. woots.
he went: "i have bad news."
so i was like: "what? u broke your leg and can't come?"
"no. they cancelled it last minute."

so. the rest of it was as they say history. and we were like wa lao. and now. this is how i ended up sitting in front of the computer blogging. this was my day. how was yours? =)

cip!

2008-06-10T16:48:00.002+08:00

finally. human contact! whee. monday went to salvation army. some shelter for under-privileged kids. quite an interesting experience. all we had to do was play and talk. played soccer with them. played quite badly. which goes to show how long it has been since i last played. hahax. and i can get frustrating at times playing with little kids. hahax. though some were good. the kids were cute. the way they played. the effort some of them put in. we talked with some of them.

saw an interesting game of truth AND dare. hahax. funny dares ad funny truths. all of which seemed to revolve around BGR. hahax. sherlyn got asked. "is that yellow guy (stanley) your boyfriend?". Hilarious. with dares involving going up to someone asking to go steady or telling them "you're handsome". the innocence of it all. hahax.

and and and! hari somehow got a fan club. seems that he's popular wherever he goes. hahax. going back on wednesday. which is tomorrow. hahax. look forward to playing and talking again! hahax.
===================

my mugging doesn't seem to be getting any better. hahax. i know i'll look back and regret for not mugging but i just can't seem to get started proper. which is frustrating. dammit.

i wanna go out with friends soon. meaningless holidays if you don't go out with friends. but everyone's busy busy busy!

holidays

2008-06-04T17:18:00.002+08:00

yoohoo. it's the holidays and i'm rotting at home. literally rotting. i have no idea what i'm doing and everyday seems like a drag. it's like a boring cycle that keeps on repeating itself. perhaps this is what a hermit's life is like. boring. i totally don't have a social life! omg. i've been wanting t go out. but there's nobody to date. nobody to ask out to mug either. so i'm rotting at home.

i've started revision. or at least attempted to. did some chem prelim papers and realised that i pretty much forgot alot of stuff. apart from that and the fact that i'm super inefficient at home, i would say that my revision's going on just fine. and i can't believe that i'm sitting for A's already. there's tonnes of stuff to revise for and i have like what? barely 3 weeks left. i'm like omg so dead la. i miss guitar. just playing is so great. no worries no stress. hahax.

know this girl. been chatting alot. quite an inter sting person. hahax. like there's so many things to know. and her blog is like omg hilarious especially with certain posts about whatshisname =) hahax. that's basically my social life now. damn. i'm such a loser.

g3

2008-06-02T16:53:00.005+08:00

here's one dedicated to my section!

nat. our beloved president and SL. the guy who taught us pretty much everything. every piece and every note. every vibrato and every glissando. hahax. turned out we're the best section! hahax. "smile more" =P thanks for everything dude. always remembered. hahax.

charis. ASL. our very own affiliation to.. hahax. always giving her trouble and gl-ing her. what fun. whee. hahax. ah well. i guess the times of doing so is over. hahax. no more practices =(

cynthia. aka qm. or aka stoner. forever stone when playing. no idea how she does it. seems impossible to get her to smile throughout one song. hahax. stone on! hahax.

jin xuan. friends since sec3. need to say more?

jon. the joker to turn to when learning chords. hahax. crazy job during glissando with is canon in d. random comments random songs during practices. best person to speak chinese to. it was interesting to watch his love life unfold. great friend.

kanin! (guy in the mid. can't really find a solo photo of him) cuttlefish! hahax. saturday practices would have been so hungry without his cuttlefish! hahax. cool hair. never a dull moment with him and lidya around =) rock on dude. bring home the GWH to ACGE! thanks for teaching us thai. hahax.

.
.
.

and of course. there's one more.

lidya. though moved to g1. but forever a g3. hahax. nice cookies she baked. and as mentioned. never a dull moment with her and kanin around. forever arguing over something. just like husband and wife. thanks for talking rubbish with me. hahax. work hard too and bring back glory to the ensemble.

camps

2008-05-31T18:34:00.002+08:00

thursday and friday was the last 2 days of guitar. it marked the end of the 4 day marathon and more importantly, it marked the end of my playing career in the ensemble. the past year of playing. was a wonderful experience. im kinda lost for words now. perhaps i shall talk about the camp first.

the camp was a lovely experience. no stress. cause we didn't need to practice anything. quick run through here. told to meet at 830. supposed to start at 9. think we dragged past that. put into groups. played some ice-breaker games. practice. went through book 2 with the j1's. lunch. practice, games. games were weird. involving candy. and soap. had a nice wash. didn't bring soap but i got a huge supply of it in one game. got hit by a bomb in a game in the face (once again) so my specs are kinda screwed now. wash up and dinner.

farewell was an emotional affair. not really a crying type. but more of a reflective type. reflecting on everything that we've gone through as an ensemble together. all the rubbish. the parodies that they made was great! and it was quite nice to hear the j1s play stuff for us. the thank you session also involved presenting the committee, nat saying a few words, showing us pictures and a dance! woots. nice job j1's.

after that was random performances. hotel california completed at last. 6songs by kanin. woots. screened movies while people had interviews till like 3+. watched blades of glory and jumper. was supposed to be a marathon till morning. but everyone konked out. so went to have cup noodles and sleep. woke up like 7+ in the morning by the bell. practice till lunch. clean up, random games, debrief. and that kinda marked the end. we had "appreciation time" and i got called nonsense, spastic and noisy. hahahx.
=================================
perhaps i shall post my thoughts of guitar some other time. when i finish sorting them out. lolx.